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Mama Bears from the 80's Need to Let Their Cubs Fail, Too

4/3/2015

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I'll admit it. I love to watch me a little TV in the evenings. One of my favorite programs is The Goldbergs. It's a show that takes place on the 80's. The creator of the show, Adam Goldberg, has created his characters based on all of his family, and each episode is loosely based on events that happened to him in his preteen years.

His mom on the show, Beverly, is the helicopter mom of all helicopter moms. She doesn't want any of her three children to grow up. She needs them to need her. She wants no harm to come to any of them. She feeds them false praise, tells them they are the best at whatever they do, and when they are not, she attacks like a mama bear.

In this week's episode her teen daughter wants to become a professional singer instead of going to college. Beverly doesn't have the heart to tell her daughter that she won't make it as a singer. So, she tells her that her career plan is right on, then tells her husband to deal out the truth.

Later when the daughter learns her mom's true feelings she asks her why she did that. Bev responds that she can't stand to see her daughter fail. The daughter responds that that will push her harder to succeed.

I wish I could talk directly to this fictitious character from thirty years in the past. "Bev, shmoopsie, if you want your children to succeed, you MUST let them fail. You can't always be there for them. They will have to learn to stand on their own two at some point. Might as well start today while they are still within the safe confines of your protective home. One day they'll be on their own and if they haven't had the opportunities to navigate failure, it's going to be ten times harder for them when they are faced with it alone. Also, keep in mind, success doesn't mean a thing, Beverly, if you haven't first tasted failure. Let them taste it, so that they can appreciate the deliciousness of success. Now, get back to your Rubik's Cube and episodes of Alf."

Funny thing, though, the creator of The Goldbergs claims that his mom really was just like that. And, look how he turned out...big time creator of  network TV show. I bit neurotic, probably has regular therapy sessions, pay no attention to the twitch... Thanks Bev.


image courtesy of ©MorgueFile.com/anitapeppers

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    Leon Scott Baxter has been called "America's Romance Guru" as well as "The Dumbest Genius You Will Ever Meet." Could one man actually be both?

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