In 2013 I decided to challenge myself to do a Random Act of Kindness (RAOK) a day for the month of April. After a few days of the challenge, I opened it up to my friends, my students, my wife and my daughters. I found that involving my kids was such an incredible experience.

This year will be our fourth go at The April RAOK Challenge, and the movement is growing, including schools, and sororities, and clubs and businesses. I think, though, that the biggest benefit is getting our kids involved with kindness early on in their lives.

My daughters are now 12 and 16. When we started they were 9 and 13. We've made cookies for the local fire department, passed out cold drinks on a hot day, and the parking fee for the person behind us entering an amusement parking lot.

I have found that our daughters learn good behaviors (and probably bad ones, as well) through what my wife and I model: eating, exercise, reading, refraining from profanity, and even kindness. When they see us helping someone on the street or mowing the neighbor's lawn, they realize this is jus "what we do" and they become a part of the experience.

It also gives us common ground what with them being in the teen/tween years. At this age, our daughters don't necessarily always want to be around us (unless we are taking them somewhere or buying them something), but when we're baking to surprise someone, or we're giving people cold drinks, they don't mind so much being in the kitchen or on the bike path with their parents.

And, as it turns out, kids who are kind to others, who give to their community, who volunteer have increased self-esteem and confidence, decreased stress, are calmer and end up doing better in school. They feel a connection to their community and realize they are part of something bigger than just themselves.

I am thrilled to be sharing RAOK Month with my daughters again this April. If you would like to learn more about it join us on Facebook. Also, here's a list of kid-friendly RAOK you might consider sharing with your child. Finally, here's a list of RAOK videos that inspire young people.

image courtesy of ©MorgueFile.com/rosevita

For four and a half years it was just me, my wife and our daughter, Riley. Then, Grace came along and expanded our little family. Grace has always lived in a home that she shared with her older sister. Riley remembers life without her younger sister, Grace. My wife and I remember life with just one daughter, but Grace has never experienced life as an only child.

There have been times when Riley has been gone for the weekend or for sleepovers, but nothing more than a couple of days...that is until two days ago. Riley had the opportunity to go on a spring break cruise with a couple of girlfriends and another family. She'll be gone for eleven days...a week and a half, with no Riley!

It's the first time that Grace has had me and her mom just to herself for this long. I see this as a great opportunity for our daughter to get undivided attention from her parents, attention that she really hasn't had the opportunity to experience ever in her life.

But, instead of being delighted at the possibilities, Grace at first only saw that her sister was gone. She didn't know to be excited about being an only child for a week and a half, because since she'd never experienced it before, she didn't know what she was missing. She only knew she missed her big sis.

On the first night she longingly went through videos of her and her sister. She grinned ear to ear, when she got a text from Riley. When her sister called, she rushed to the phone to join the conversation.

But, my wife and I are still giving her the only-child treatment, and I think Grace is really starting to dig it. So far one morning she and I watched a Harry Potter movie we hadn't seen yet. As I write this, she and her mom are in the kitchen making salsa and guacamole for our Mexican Dinner Bar tonight. We'll be heading to Frozen Yogurt in a couple of nights and are going to the movies later this week.

Grace still misses her sister, but she's starting to appreciate having Mom and Dad to herself with no teen interruptions. She's getting a taste of what life will be like in a year and a half, when Riley will head off to college...and so are we.

image courtesy of https://pixabay.com/en/only-child-autism-toys-shadow-723822/

As a parent, I am all about letting my children make mistakes ("fail" if you will) in order for them to learn from their errors and make wiser choices or decisions next time.

Some of you know, my oldest daughter, Riley, has a pretty successful YouTube channel. Recently, she was asked to star in a series of videos for a different, very popular YouTube channel as a guest host. They needed her to supply them with her minor's entertainment work permit, as well as her Coogan account information in order for her to be paid.

I wasn't exactly sure what the Coogan account was. I remember the child actor from the films of the twenties, and something about him not getting the money he deserved when he came of age... kind of like Gary Coleman of Diff'rent Strokes fame in the eighties. 

This was on a Friday and the shoot was on Monday. So, being the "Safety-Net Parent" that I am, I told my sixteen year old to contact the management company and ask about the account as well as asking for a contact number in case we got caught in traffic or something. She can do this. She's a big girl. I've taught her well, and this is her gig, her love, her passion.

So, Friday night she hangs out with friends. Saturday night she spends at a friend's house, then heads to a nearby amusement park the next day. When she finally walks in the door on Sunday evening, I ask what the management company said. She tells me (get this), "I haven't checked my email in two days."

WHAT?!

So, Riley looks, and sees that just a few minutes after sending her email on Friday night, they responded. They gave us the contact number, and explained what the Coogan account was, and that she'd need to open one before the shoot...at 9 a.m....the next morning. 

There was NO WAY we'd be able to get a Coogan account in time. And, I'm thinking, how is it that my daughter has not learned yet responsibility? She's smart and at times seems to use the gray matter between her ears. I have given her lots of opportunities to make mistakes and learn from them in less "important" situations. So, trying to stay calm, I ask my high school junior why she didn't take responsibility on this situation.

And, after she rambles off some not-so-heartfelt apologies, and some illogical excuses about "people distractions" (translation: "hanging out with friends") I realize that she didn't take responsibility for this situation, because she'd never been in this situation before. She had never been asked to check for a response on an email on a Friday night regarding a bank account before going to an amusement park for a video shoot in three days.

Oh sure, I've given her plenty of other opportunities to learn responsibility in her life, but because she has a teen brain, and not one that has been fully cooked, it appears that she has difficulties transferring her learning from one situation to the next. Therefore, I realize, if she is to make good decisions in her life, I must provide her with every conceivable situation in the universe in order for her to know how to handle each one...individually.

Do I really mean this? No. But, it sure as heck felt like it on Sunday evening. I will keep giving her opportunities to make decisions and if she fails, there's another learning opportunity. And, maybe when her brain is fully cooked, she be able to make the leap from one situation to the next. Until then, we deal with them one at a time, as they come up.

image courtesy of ©MorgueFile.com/markgraf